:: Track Zero ::

:: Monday, September 02, 2002 ::

:: 10:52 PM :: 0 comments ::

movies without nudity
So I've had a busy couple weeks with all the movies I've been catching. Here's a summary:

Minority Report: Rentable. I saw this one in the theater. The only reason I don't mind is because it was the Alamo Drafthouse, which serves beer and pizza and other good things and makes any movie worth seeing, after enough beer. We caught the matinee, or I'd think I paid too much. Thing is, the movie was decent, but it should have ended half an hour earlier. There was a lot of extra conspiracy crap at the end that just was not needed. No nudity.

Something about the International Space Station at the IMAX: Frikkin cool. Definitely worth admission. 3D, 70-foot screen, closest I'll get to space without shelling out US $20M. You could read the details on the safety stickers, the ID badges...it was cool. It was an IMAX, so naturally, no nudity. But it begs the question...what would it be like in zero-g?

Vanilla Sky: Worth the rental fee. Worried that something similar (but not in entirely the same situation) could be happening to me. I have long considered the possibility that the last five or so years of my life have been the result of coma-induced hallucinations. I have no way to prove otherwise. The same people keep coming back into my life, as if I had no imagination worthy of creating additional entities. The only thing I can't explain is how I'm able to create such a wide variety of movies. But it does explain the continuance of the Star Wars saga. A tiny bit of unmemorable nudity.

Fast and the Furious: I'd rent it, but not buy it. I made the mistake of buying this one with the expectation that it would be a good way to demo my speakers. Either my speakers are crap, or the sound mastering in this flick could use some enhancement. I'm guessing it's the latter. Cruddy acting, bad script, but some cool cars. Except the rice-burners, which sucked. No nudity.

xXx: I'd see it in a theater. Worth the $8.50 admission, if you're up for a pure-action-little-thought sort of night. Sort of James Bond meets Americans in the X-Games kind of thing, which is why I think they called it xXx...There definitely was not enough (eg: any) nudity to warrant it.

Shallow Hal: Wait for it on Cable. Funny, but it certainly didn't change my life. Except, as a drummer, I did appreciate the girl named "Cadence." And that Paltrow chick is kinda cute, when she's not wearing the fat suit. Most interesting bit about it tho, is the HBO First Look, where GP talks about wearing the fat suit out in public, and people ignored her and wouldn't make eye contact and so on. Kind of an interesting thing for a star like that to experience, and an interesting way to illustrate the ongoing suckiness of other people. No nudity.

The Mothman Prophecies: Pay-per-viewable. This one got my attention, because I question how much of it was based on a true story. True, the Silver Bridge did collapse, but it killed 46 people, not 36....And there isn't much describing the "mothman" outside of the movie. Seems like a lot of flicks that say "based on a true story" only say so because "there was once a guy named Dave, and there's a guy named Dave in our film." No memorable nudity.

Osmosis Jones: Cable-worthy. Darn near rentable. Have a couple beers, tho. Alright. I know it was 90-95% cartoon, but it had some great folks, including Bill Murray, Chris Rock, and Captain Kirk. There were some extremely funny bits, but some of it was pretty disgusting. I mean, most of the film was done inside of a guy, for cryin' out loud. Probably not a good one for really little kids; hopefully, many of the more subtle jokes would go over their heads. And to be honest, I probably wouldn't have liked it as much had I not been drinking a bit. Oh, and it was a cartoon, so there was no nudity.

Training Day: Rent-worthy. Denzel was good. I liked him at first. He got a bit unlikeable, but he didn't take the movie down with him. Again, no worthwhile nudity.

Black Hawk Down: I'd see it in a theater. Serious violence. Continual violence. Blood and gore and non-stop violence. No break for story line violence. I liked it. Amy thought there was too much violence. Good proof of the surround-sound. Nudity, but only the gory kind where they show people's intestines hanging out of the bottoms of their bodies where the legs should be.

Medicine Man: Catch it on cable. This is an old one, with Sean Connery and the chick from Sopranos. I'd seen the end of it quite some time ago...for some reason, I'd always thought the lead actress in this had been Jody Foster. Nope. Anyway...It came on HBO the other day, and I actually caught it at the beginning for once, and it was a much better film than when you just catch the last half hour. Makes you think about stuff, which can be good or bad, depending on who you are and what's been happening to you lately. Quite a bit of nudity, but mostly of the National Geographic from the public library variety.

So in summary, what happened to all the gratuitous nudity from movies that I'm used to seeing? I mean, come on, $8.50 a seat for the big screen, there better be some gratuitous nudity or I'm not getting my money's worth...

-J

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

...:..::..:...