:: Track Zero ::

:: Saturday, September 06, 2008 ::

:: 12:25 AM :: 1 comments ::

So it begins...

So yesterday, Syd finally beat me in a video game. Twice, actually. During Raving Rabbits on the Wii. I thought it was worth logging.

Would have put it in her blog, but once she defeated her father, it caused a technology chain-reaction, and the code that enables new contributions to her site has gone left on me, returning nothing but errors...I'm getting an abend in code that has previously been flawless for years...

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:: 8:43 PM :: 1 comments ::

madness consumes him.

see above.

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:: 9:36 AM :: 0 comments ::

where's a bag of marshmallows when you need 'em?

well, here's a fun post from matt's blog of his apartment complex burning down...

(no matts were injured in the burning of this building)

-j

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:: 11:23 PM :: 0 comments ::

ho. lee. hell.

been a while since I posted. just like to keep things a tad bit current.

my good friend AJ just got married. my good friend matt just moved.
my good child sydney just figured out how to open cabinets.

that's all i can give ya.

-J



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:: 9:17 PM :: 1 comments ::

weird news from states i've lived in...

only in missouri:

lake chesterfield disappears

WILDWOOD, Mo. - To folks around Wildwood, it is nothing but freaky: an entire 23-acre lake vanished in a matter of days, as if someone pulled the plug on a bathtub.

Lake Chesterfield went down a sinkhole this week, leaving homeowners in this affluent St. Louis suburb wondering if their property values disappeared along with their lakeside views.

only in texas:

texas judge sentances woman to bread and water
A Texas woman convicted of neglecting two horses in her care has been sentenced to serve 30 days in jail — the first three of which will be spent with a diet of only bread and water, a judge said Tuesday.

now that's my kind of judge....

-j

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:: 9:33 PM :: 1 comments ::

awake, asleep, awake, asleep, awake, asleep...

i was looking over my posts, realized something...i've not mentioned to any of you that i have been diagnosed with narcolepsy.

i'll give that a moment to sink in, for those of you who know me as a chronic insomniac.

yes, apparently, the night-time insomnia is because, in the day, i'm narcoleptic. never realized it, really, because i had ways i managed myself, until i became a manager, and found myself trying to sit in a meeting for 9 hours without letting my director catch me sleeping.

it was all about a lack of down-side. no negative reinforcement. also, bad diagnostics from prior doctors.

it wasn't the "tv and movie" kind of narcolepsy, where someone falls asleep mid-stride at the bowling alley and snores their way right to a 7-10 split, but still, not the most convenient of quirks. but this guy, he caught what others have missed, put me on the right kind of drugs, and now, the only times i have a problem with sleepiness are when i don't get enough sleep. turns out, i actually *do* require a semi-normal amount of sleep.

so much for evolution.

-j

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:: 7:23 PM :: 0 comments ::

public service announcement....

something has occurred to me...something important...something very, very crucial...a message you must understand...you must take this message to heart....i probably shouldn't have bothered building it up quite so much. it almost seems anticlimactic, now, my point does. anyway, here it is:

it's all fun and games until someone asks, "say, do you have a webcam?"

-j


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:: 8:30 PM :: 0 comments ::

moo.

haven't posted in awhile. thought i should at least write something.

yeah, that's all i got.

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:: 9:36 PM :: 0 comments ::

couldn't have said it better myself...

What the hell happened to "Large coffee. Black."

-j

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:: 10:53 AM :: 0 comments ::

a little recognition...

you know, i've never been good at remembering people's names. heck, i even introduced my own newborn with the wrong middle name to my own family...remembered the letter it started with, but i had the wrong name....and that's just ridiculously unacceptable.

and it's odd, because i remember intricate and complex command lines on all flavors of operating systems after seeing those once, and they're a heck of a lot more complex than remembering someone's first name. it's something i've always wished i could "fix," because people just like you better if they think you remember them, even something as basic as their first name.

i'm thinking about it, because i had a training class yesterday...walk in, and i recognize the instructor...he was the same instructor from a class i had about a year ago...in that class, everyone shows up, sits down, and the instructor says "why don't we get the introductions out of the way..." and then proceeds to introduce everyone in the class...he'd remembered everyone's names, after hearing them all for the first time that morning. quite impressive...

i asked what method he used for this feat...was it association? did he have some sort of phoenetic device? no...just good at remembering lists...

so here i am, a year later...walk into the class...not only does he remember my name from the first class, but he remembers details about my life...things like what happened during my first week in college that drove me into IT, bits about my hometown, and so on...needless to say, i was impressed, particularly in the face of my complete lack of skill in this area.

it made me feel good to be remembered, and i started thinking, i need to develop better skills in that area...i need to start remembering people, and referring to them by name...but there are a lot of names out there. i can't even remember them all without associating them to a particular person's face. so i'm thinking, to make things easier on myself, maybe i'll just try to remember the first letter of everyone's name. there's only 26 letters, after all, so even if I *have* totally forgotten someone's letter, I have a 3.8% chance of getting it right with a random guess. That flies up to 2 out of 26, or 7.6%, if someone has a first and last name that start with different letters. with the whole name thing most people practice, the chance of picking a correct name drops to nearly nothing, what with the high quantity of names floating out there.

i think others will soon adopt my system, when they see how much more efficient it could be.

-J

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:: 9:22 PM :: 0 comments ::

audio post powered by audblog

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:: 9:21 PM :: 0 comments ::

audio post powered by audblog

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:: 7:59 AM :: 0 comments ::

you think your job sucks...

so today, i think, i've achieved a new career low. today at the office, i wore a garbage bag, ski goggles, shower cap, and felt antlers, while people paid a dollar to throw whipped cream pies at me (it was for charity). i wasn't the only one, but i cropped the photos to protect the innocent.

yes, that's right. i left the world of professional clownanism over 10 years ago, yet i still get whipped cream pies chucked at my head.

damn karmic retribution.

-J

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:: 8:18 AM :: 0 comments ::

they call 'em fingers, but i never see 'em fing...whoa, there they go

so here's another place where advances in technology blur the line between technology early-adopters and crazy homeless people: Let your fingers do the talking.

and people thought ear-buds were annoying. so now how are you supposed to hold the phone by pinching it between your shoulder and your ear to free up your hand for eating soup while simultaneously driving and shaving and reading the paper and talking on the phone and smoking?

-J

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:: 8:34 PM :: 0 comments ::

refreshing

it's about dang time: Beer Church.

you can even become a minister! and, if you become a minister at the universal life church as well (it only takes 3 minutes, and you can do it all online), you can perform legally binding weddings in all 50 states.

(note: kool-aid not included)

-J


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:: 8:13 PM :: 0 comments ::

comment system back online...

alright, the weaselbacks work again.

sorry for the inconvenience. some guy (klinkfamily.com) runs it as a free service. i oughtta try to get the code and replicate it on my server...at least then i won't lose all my posts...

-J

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:: 11:01 AM :: 0 comments ::

i, robo-monkey...

according to this news story, my heretofore unfounded (but not unspoken) fear of megalomanical telekinetic monkeys taking over the world finally has a solid scientific foundation. Specifically, the line, "they will upgrade the monkeys so they can transmit their mental commands to machines wirelessly."

i need to get me one of them monkeys. and here's why: when the megalomaniacal telekinetic monkeys take over the world, i want my megalomaniacal telekinetic monkey to stand up for me before the Grand Council of Megalomaniacal Telekinetic Monkeys and say, "hey, this guy, this human right here, he's okay...he's on our side." and with that, the sponsorship of my megalomaniacal telekinetic monkey, my life shall be spared. perhaps if i really treat him well, i'll be given a job as a megalomaniacal telekinetic monkey network administrator, instead of the less-desirable job as the person who cleans up the poo flung by their less-megalomaniacal telekinetic monkey brethren.

-Jeff

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:: 11:14 AM :: 0 comments ::

f-bomb: perfectly acceptible for broadcast tv...

according to the fcc, four-letter words are perfectly acceptible as long as they are not used to describe sexual or excretory organs or activities...it's about fuckin' time...bono is off the hook...if the ruling had been more timely, perhaps it could have saved norm macdonald's role in SNL's weekend update...

-J

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:: 9:07 PM :: 0 comments ::

let there be cheese...

tonight, i made cheese. from scratch. well, technically, from a gallon of milk, a quarter of a rennet tablet, and two teaspoons of citric acid. but still...here's what it looked like when i finished:

it was mozzarella, specificially. and i did it for no particularly good reason, except to be able to say that i can make cheese.

-J

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:: 1:31 PM :: 0 comments ::

EFF: RIAA Petition

if you think the RIAA is overstepping societal bounds, please sign the EFF: RIAA Petition...

-J

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:: 1:19 PM :: 0 comments ::

protect yourself from alien thought control...

notice: this is not one of my websites.

thank you.

-J

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:: 7:50 AM :: 0 comments ::

the previous recordholder must be heartbroken...

World’s oldest genitals discovered
LONDON, Sept. 17 — Scientists have discovered fossils of the world’s oldest genitals — belonging to 400 million-year-old insects — in ancient rocks in Scotland. The penis of the ancient harvestmen insects, commonly known as a daddy longlegs, was two-thirds the length of the body and remarkably similar to the modern-day species, New Scientist magazine said Wednesday.

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:: 11:06 AM :: 0 comments ::

memo to RIAA: you're a bunch of asses.

dear RIAA....you suck. You're a multibillion dollar behemoth, trapped in your ancient distribution model that affords you greater control over artists than anyone should ever have allowed, a monopoly power rivalling Microsoft, and you abuse that power to bleed money out of the single mother of a 12-year old girl.

but it doesn't stop there. your lawsuits are going after the technologically illiterate, the accidental followers of a movement much bigger than their limited knowlege of the technology behind it...many who stopped downloading pirated music but had installed P2P software, unaware that their machines had found all ripped music and offered it out to the masses...

you want to stop peer-to-peer? it's easy...put your entire musical library into a music-industry-supported digital distribution channel at 50 cents per song...standard MP3 format. forget about content control and digital media rights management, you're just going to encourage people to hack it. but make it easy to find, and cheap. sure, some people will still pass the files back and forth, but people have been sharing cd's for years, well before they could copy them to another disc...but P2P is popular because the Internet has turned us into on-demand consumers. when I want something, i want it now. right now. not in one business day with overnight shipping. i want it the minute i think about it...if it's a video, i want it via video-on-demand. if i want to send a note to someone, i don't want to have to go to the post office. if i want to know what's going on in the world, i want to see just the articles i'm interested in, immediately...and if i hear a cool song on the radio with a line that sticks in my head, i want to be able to type those words into my internet browser, figure out the song and the band, and have it downloaded and burned to disc within minutes.

for example...evanescence...heard 'em during the daredevil movie. liked the song...watched the end credits...saw the band name...thought i might like the band...went to grokster...searched on the name...found their music...downloaded some songs, right then and there...loaded 'em onto my philips audio keyring mp3 player...listened to 'em....liked 'em...put 'em on my shopping list. three days later, i was near a best buy, and i bought the disc. for music i'd already downloaded. because i liked the music, and wanted to support the artists. but if i hadn't downloaded their songs already, i probably wouldn't have just picked up the disc....nothing i hate more than buying a disc for one good song, only to find out the other eight tracks are all crap.

but here's the thing...i would have never bought the cd if i could have just downloaded the music legally from the web. my new favorite music site is buymusic.com, becuase it does for the PC world what iTunes did for the mac users, without all the lawsuits for trademark infringment from the Beatle's Apple Corps Music.

so it's moving the right direction. but everything isn't up there yet...to tell you the truth, tho, these bullshit RIAA scare tactics are really starting to get on my nerve. i'm about 70% committed to selling all my RIAA-member-tied discs to the local used music reseller, and listen only to independent labels with no RIAA ties...i've got plenty of independent-label cds...

so anyway, RIAA...you suck. your parents wouldn't necessarily be mad at you....just...disappointed.


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:: 12:31 AM :: 0 comments ::

found my favorite website back...

i always found these folks quite funny. Revision 2.0 was my favorite, linked here:
B U D . U G L L Y . D E S I G N
something about the midi file in the background. :)

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:: 1:03 PM :: 0 comments ::

the baby is here. she has her own website, sydneyferris.com, and she's about to start her own blog.

there's also eBaby, of course, which has significanlty more postings than this site over the last couple months...you'll find the link over on the left of this page...

sleepy. haven't had time to play starwars in like a week...need food....should be doing that instead of typing.

4.
      Itchy.
    . tasty

-J


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:: 12:18 PM :: 0 comments ::

my favorite headline from today...

now this is some good news:

Herald Sun: 3 coffees a day 'saves livers' [25jul03]: "DRINKING three cups of coffee a day can reduce the risk of fatal liver disease by up to 40 per cent."

sweet. my coffee addiction should counter my high-volume beer consumption. if i drink half coffee, half beer, i wonder if they'll immediately cancel each other out?

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:: 9:55 PM :: 0 comments ::

Star Wars Galaxies Character Builder...

so i posted awhiles back about the availability of Star Wars Galaxies, the massive online multiplayer...i know a number of my friends are on it, and one of the guys at work showed me this character builder site, where you can enter your own character data, or template out a character to see how your points will spend...saves all that time doing "math." it's pretty cool...

so here are the stats for my character, Traze Feraus.

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:: 2:50 PM :: 0 comments ::

news 'o the day

well, i thought it was a funny concept:
‘Hunts’ of nude women draw fire

apparently, many people find it offensive and abusive to women. this from las vegas, nevada. you remember las vegas? i think the state motto is "got whores?"

the men don't even sleep with the women, they just hit 'em with paint guns. i've played paintball. yes, sometimes it leaves a bruise, if it hits you wrong. but these men are hunting employees of the company, they aren't stalking the city paintballing any 'ol naked strippers. so critics, get over it...if someone offered you $2500 for 20 minutes to run in boxers through the woods while someone shot at you with a paint gun, you'd probably do it. hell, i would.

so here's what it is: it's funny.

but here's what it isn't: it isn't a political outlet. a quote from the article: "The women who think this is abusive and degrading need to put their attention where it should be, and I think that’s Afghanistan."

...where the f**k did that come from? i mean seriously, how do you string together such disconnected topics?

thank you, jackass. now stuff your political opinions and get back to taking large sums of money from stupid people.

-J

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:: 10:26 AM :: 0 comments ::

headline of the week...

honestly, you just gotta read the article:
Pirate in trouble for sausage assault
see what happens when you run around dressed as a giant sausage?

personally, i love the photo of the giant smiling hotdog compassionately attempting to help the fallen sausage comrade. you just can't look seriously helpful as a 12 foot tall hotdog.

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:: 8:31 PM :: 0 comments ::

not a good product name...

i figure i owe you a pretty good post, after neglecting the site for two weeks...

so here you go.

you know what had to happen here. somewhere, in a boardroom, a new product was announced. and it needed a name. a meeting was called. a bunch of people sat around a table and threw out a bunch of names. some good, some bad, some that already existed. no one could agree on a name. then a guy like me cracks some wise-ass comment to make everyone laugh. "we could call 'em nut poppers," he says. but no one laughs. worse, the director liked the name. the guy can't explain that it's a joke, because it has already gone too far. and so we end up with this:

-J

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